Ok, I have been getting anonymous messages on my tumblr over and over asking "Why I haven't been shooting anything like I used to?" I have been ignoring this question because I don't know the answer. I apologize but mostly I apologize to myself as weird as that sounds. Just recently I have been looking through my old photographs. Digital and film. I just miss picking up my camera and shooting like every two weeks. It came so naturally and it felt so satisfying. Now it's like once a month if that and I'm not even happy with the outcome most of the time. I look at them and I know they can be so much better, or maybe that is just me being very critical towards myself. I cant blame anyone but myself with this problem of mine. It's not that I don't want to photograph things and people anymore.. it's just my mind gets in these ruts all the time, and time is my worst enemy. Trust me I have ideas that run through my brain everyday but I cant put them physical down with my camera unless my mind is free. 50 percent of the time I am consumed with school and my part time job, which feels like full time. Mostly because of my stress level. I have no idea where I am going with this. It's just a ramble of thoughts and words. Couple of weeks ago during my photo history class I started getting emotional when my professor started talking about taking photographs with passion. Not just shooting because it is a "job" I knew exactly what he was talking about because I find myself doing that all the time lately. I couldn't help but get emotional about it. It's sad to me that my professor pushes me because clearly I'm not pushing myself enough and he notices. I mean its meaningful to me of course when someone believes in me don't get me wrong. If I could drop everything around me and just dedicate my life to photography trust me I would in a heart beat. I told myself I would finish school and save up for certain things in my life then start pursuing the lifestyle I want. It's really baby steps I have to take because I have so much in my life going on. Mostly mentally to be honest. I should really take all my frustration into photo making but like I said.. time is something I don't have anymore. If I want to do a shoot I really have to plan it out. A through Z it seems. The only thing I know is photos. This is the only thing I know that I want ever so badly. I want to live comfortably, while doing something I love. I don't want to become a slave working an 9 to 5 "job" everyday of my life...because what kind of life would that be? A sad and pathetic one. Some people are content with average. I'm defiantly not. I will get my shit together eventually.

No matter where I am in my photography, I will always photograph my sister. She was one of my very first subjects when I was just starting out. Every once in awhile I like to document her. She is growing up whether I like it or not. I want her to have photographs of every stage of her life. So she can one day look back at everything and use these for memories.
These photos were taking in our house, with natural indoor lighting. Did nothing to these but switched them to black and white. I wanted these to turn out natural, I let her do whatever she wanted without no direction.

Bailey Mosley

                                       We were losing light at this point, so we wrapped it up.

Local horse back riding.

I recently had an opportunity to shoot for a local company. It was commissioned gig. It included shooting seven family members, seven horses, and seven horse trainers. At the local beach in shoulder length water. I had to be very cautious about not getting my slr wet and also concentrating on all of the subjects and trying to forget about how deep in the ocean I was. I have a little fear of deep ocean water.  It was defiantly an learning experience, but I also enjoyed pushing myself to the next level to capture shots. 

UPDATE: Up above is how I truly felt after photographing this family for a local company, until I realized several weeks later that I have been taken advantage of by the company. I'm not going to mention the company's name because I am not that kind of a person.  I did mention up above that I did enjoy pushing myself to the next level to capture shots... although, when you made a professorial deal I expected everyone to keep their word and be reliable. I kept my word and did exactly what I was supposed to do. Unfortunately the company did not. They took all their shots they needed from me and kept telling me week after week I would get paid, but still to this day I have not received a single dime. The CEO of the company emailed me ....after I asked if I was ever going to receive my check? He then claimed that most of his horses have been stolen and he has been swamped and forgot to do the payroll and would get right on it. (Ya okkk!) Never heard from him again. It is a shame, you would imagine a company would keep their word for good customer feedback and positive reviews.....I guess not. I know this sort of stuff happens all the time in the freelance world, I know a lot of times you do actually have to take a chance in this kind of business and hope for the best. I guess I was a little naive. I honestly thought this company came of so professorial and legit, but really it was all just a front. As a photography student trying to make a career out of my passion. I take photography very seriously. Small gigs all the way to big gigs. So of course I'm going to be some what effected by all this. All I can really say is I will never work for this company again, nor will I ever recommend anyone to this company. I have defiantly learned a lesson, it's just unfortunate I had to go through all of this.

spontaneous portraits

While my sister and I were puppy sitting Conner, we had time to wonder off and shoot for a bit. Here are some shots.

Meet Conner

My best friend recently got a new puppy, we named him Conner Gandolf McDonald, yes we are for real. Samantha, Ashley and I came over to Jen's house to visit and see the new puppy. Jen's house also happens to have the best lighting so I took advantage and roamed around all day.

The Smiths

I recently had the pleasure of shooting a family from Ohio. They are on summer vacation and wanted traditional family beach portraits. So I agreed and figured I can step out of my comfort zone and shoot them. Turns out they are the sweetest people, not to mention Abby the little girl was so adorable. Towards the end of the shoot we were waiting for the beautiful Florida sunset, but that never happened because the weather is so unpredictable.